Escapism

I think I finally get it -
Why people want to drink till they blackout,
Why they want to get high and float on clouds of bliss,
Why they want to get lost and go someplace far away;
Because sometimes it all becomes a bit too much -
People, dreams, life;
Too much enough to feel that imposing pressure,
But not too much enough to do much about it, 
Just left wondering,
Wondering why the mundane seems so hard,
Why the little things feel so threatening,
Wondering when it gets better,
If it gets better.
Of course, there are good days,
Days when it’s easy to say,
‘Hey, it’s the journey that is beautiful, not just the destination,’
When it’s easy to see that it’s all worth it.
But then there are the not-so-great days,
When everything is frustrating,
Everything is demanding,
Everything is part of this convoluted mess that I’m in the middle of,
And all I can think of is running away,
Running far far away,
Far enough that I can pick exactly what I want to carry,
Far enough that I can be exactly who I want to be,
Far enough that I can finally stop waiting for my life and just live it!

But I wonder,
Will I?
Will I actually have the courage to do it?
Be who I want to be?